Days

There are days when

I am lost
I am broken
I am hurt
I am low

And those are days when 
I Try
I Learn
I Grow

 

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To the Scariest of all

Dear………….
you scare me more than what Annabelle ever did,
you make me cry more than what The Nun ever did,
you are a bigger curse than that of Chucky’s,
And like every horror movie only one person can see you (me)
When I try telling others about you they do not believe you exist
and tell me its all in my head,
I know they will believe me only when it’s too late
or
when they see you themselves
Now I have seen enough horror stories to find a way to fight you,
but none of those creatures are like you
because they attack only when they find you alone
or at dark nights,
Unlike you
who scares me even when I am in a place full of people
Even in the brightest days
Even in the holy places
But this does not break me
I will defeat you
I know it will take time
It will take patience
and alot of therapies
but I will not let you be the end of me
Even if they don’t believe you exist

– The ghost in my head!
Depression

 

 

Marital Rape

I was touched and knocked on the floor
There is no place where i could go for justice
Because there is no door
I have suffered the same pain as other rape victims
But my wedding, is the problem
The only thing I can get in the name of justice is Divorce
because they think it’s the remedy of the pain
The justice I deserve
I still ask myself where was I mistaken and where did I go wrong
The only people I thought who would understand were other women
but its something they have been through too
You know what is weird? These men have made them believe that its not a crime
Its a husband’s right
From the day of marriage everything a women posses becomes the husband’s property: Her body, her dreams, her aspirations, her choices……. this list is never ending
They have made them believe this too
I pity them because unlike me they don’t realise that they have been wronged
they endure this thinking that its okay, “because marriage requires compromises” Is what they have been taught
A right that these men get over our bodies right from the day of our marriage
Because to them marriage is a contract for irrevocable sex
And consent?
What’s that? It’s just something you have in fairytales
(Sadly we didn’t get it there either)

They say its not rape,
because once you’re married there’s no reason to say NO
They also say it cannot be criminalised
as it would be tough to establish the existence of consent.
Ever thought who they are?
They are just some men who are lead by patriarchy
who fail to understand the difference between women and objects.
Do not judge their qualifications, they include the illiterate ones and the highly qualified ones too because while procuring the knowledge over the most complex issues, they failed to learn the basic concept of equality and respect.
They say a wife will be safe because her safety is of primary importance to her husband, isn’t this what all the religions include in their wedding vows,
but who will save them if the saviour itself is the monster?

Dear Kings of Patriarchal Castles,
The next time you look at your wife make sure you remember this!

  1. Marriage is an institution not an arrangement
  2. Marriage is not a permit for you to sexually abuse her
  3. Marriage is not a contract and she is not a consideration
    Marriage is everything you both mutually decide it to be and not your arbitrary decisions

Marriage is an institution based on the pillar of love, understanding and trust but the foundation, it is the promise to stay together and support each other in every odd, every problem and adversity everyday for the rest of the life.
It means to protect each other and not hurt each other!
It means to adjust at times for other person’s happiness but that does mean to sacrifice your dignity and personal autonomy!

-Marital Rape Right!

I am not rich, I am Satisfied

It all began with a wish
of being rich, wealthy, powerful
But where did it end?
was it a happy ending?
How would I know
I was blinded by the greed
Thinking one day I will have enough,
enough for me to fulfill that one wish
but did that ever happen?
No, because I perpetually kept asking for more
and more
and more
Little did I know that this would be a drug
A drug that would be the end of my happiness
Because no matter how much I get I want more
It is when I encountered a jovial man
I asked, “how much is it that you have to have such glistening eyes?”
To which he replied with content
“I am not rich, but I am satisfied”
Only then I realized I had fulfilled the wish
for which this all started long back
The only thing that wasn’t fulfilled was my greed.

The world is a library of people

They say you must not judge a book by its cover
But is it really possible for us to not judge people at all?
Isn’t it important for us to look at people and make an opinion
to keep us away from bad company
Because maybe reading a book and realizing it isn’t good in the last chapters won’t make a lot of difference
But that’s not the same with human beings
Being with a wrong person can be disastrous
Thus,
We must not judge a book by its cover
but we must make a temporary opinion about people
on the basis of their deeds, behavior, vibes, communication, energies, perspective, portrayal, the way they treat others
You can know them better and always laugh upon your 1st draft opinion (which you must keep with yourself until too sure!)
but till you know them, its better you watch out!

Always remember however bad a book is, never spread rumors about it
Maybe the book which you did not like could be someone’s favorite
Let others decide for themselves, you take prudence for yourself and try finding your book!

-Sometimes books with the worst reviews have the best stories to tell!

Nothing for free is much valued, not even advice

I get how much you want to help them, teach them, stop them from falling in the pit they are putting themselves in because you think they are inviting trouble or you can foresee where this will lead
But can you really save someone who does not want to be saved?
Someone who wants to really take a shot and risk it all?
Someone who is the master of his/ her life
No matter how much you want to save them you can’t
So rather stand by their side in the decisions they take even if you disagree with them
because they are always 2 possibilities even if one is just 0.000001 probable
1. the risk paying off
2. the person failing
So just stay there, they will learn with time, just the way you did but that day isn’t today so they wouldn’t understand you
Apart from this, you could be wrong too so maybe it’s better to let everyone explore and find their own lessons.

“Time teaches you what you refuse to learn from your well-wishers”
-Chitra Divakaruni

Failure

Failure is a Motivation in life
it does not pamper you like other people
but it tests you,
hard enough to make you step out of your comfort zone
But failure is a motivation only when you don’t stop after that failure, rather you keep going
So, if life is a mirror
Failure is a broken mirror
The only thing it is useful for is to take a lesson and be more prudent next time
And don’t dwell on it or keep it there for too long
You might step on it and hurt yourself and
bleeding with guilt and regret after a failure
doesn’t help in healing
So the broken mirror, It is just there to teach you a lesson you must learn
After which you must clean it up and focus on making a new mirror with old lessons!

It makes the success taste so much better!!

-at times there’s nothing like a mosaic painting

Rest or Work?

Some days I just wanna stay in a place and watch my life as it goes by like still-water observes the beauty around, just the same way
I want to appreciate the little things I miss in the daily haste

And while I stay there and discover how so many people do little things for me and I forget to thank them; and
I want to feel gratuitous

I wanna stop for a while and not do anything and see how far I have reached from where I started; and
I want to feel proud

I wanna stop thinking about tomorrow;
about my problems;
about my future;
I just want to think about the things I already have; and
I want to feel lucky

I don’t want to think about the time I have wasted till now; or
the places I have to reach; or
things I need to know; or
questions I need to answer; or
problems I need to solve
And it’s not necessary that I need to feel accomplished like I have reached my destination
because at times the view before reaching the destination is better than the destination itself
I just want to enjoy that

Because resting is important, doing nothing is important too
Like an electronic device charges faster when kept undisturbed while charging
I wanna fill/charge myself with all these beautiful energies.

Do you feel the same?
What’s stopping you then?
Remember you can only watch the reflection of the sunset in still-water
So at times being still and doing nothing is not bad/wrong

And then after resting
.
.
.
.
I want to start again

-“Rest If you must but don’t you quit”

John Greenleaf Whittier

Mother

To the person whom world muses as an institution of perfection,
Isn’t it tiring to be expected to be correct all the time?
To know everything?

Don’t we forget that she is a human before being a mother?
It’s her first time being a mother too and even if it’s not she can’t be blamed for being imperfect!

A mistake without a bad intention is forgiven everywhere
In every shrine
But for mothers?
It is often wrapped in questions instead
“How could you not know?”
“What kind of a mother are you?”

She is still trying to find the answer to these questions the world imposes on her,
What kind of mother are you?
And sometimes she has the answer (the one which the world hasn’t heard of!)
‘A Human Mother, the one who makes mistakes and learns from them’
A Mother who maybe once or many times didn’t understand what was wrong with the child; or
What the child meant to say; or
What was happening to him…..

And who gave us the right to decide if she failed or passed at being a mother?
Who decides that and on what merits?

Ever thought how burdened does she feel when we assume she knows it all
How paranoid she is due to the expectations of the world
She has looked at her mother and all the other mothers,
but found the same helplessness in their eyes
who have accepted these assumptions as a gospel
So now she stops waiting for someone to break this chain of expectations,
And she does what they did
She accepts the rule too
That A MOTHER MUST KNOW IT ALL
She has nowhere to go for help
So now she tells herself she knows it all and thinks it’s her duty to know it all

 

 

 

 

I am me

Who are you?
I am Me

And what’s so special about it?
Everything! Because unlike everyone I don’t try to be someone I am not,
Unlike everyone I am not scared of being myself, even if that means being extremely ordinary, boring, simple,  ……….
Unlike everyone I don’t say stuff I don’t mean.
I don’t do things which I do not find agreeable
I am not perfect, I am work-in-progress
I need to learn more, but will there ever be an end to the thirst?
God forbid if that thirst dies what will we live for?
Thus, even in days when I think I am lagging behind, I remind myself
That I have all the time in the world
I don’t mind working slowly and taking breaks
Sleeping before the finishing line wouldn’t make a lot of difference either
It’s no Race
Even if it is, the finishing line is invisible

There are days I work hard to accomplish goals
There are days I spend doing nothing progressive
There are days I feel I am lagging but I don’t let this take over me
There are days the metaphorical speeches scare me
because I don’t fit in the list
I am neither a wave nor an ocean
I am neither a lion nor a fox

But who said I had to be like them?
Those metaphorical creatures or other accomplished men of this world
I said it before, I am me
And that’s good enough for me to be motivated again

There are days I fail at doing anything that I just talked above
but that doesn’t stop me from picking right from where I stopped the last time
Because I am everything someone else wants to be
Because I am different because different is me

So if you’re you, be delighted for it, because that’s rare
Not all stones can get hit by waves and still keep their shape in the river!

-Get influenced inspired